Abusive Behavior Checklist

Emotional Abuse

____ Frequently blamed or criticized you

____ Called you names

____ Ridiculed your beliefs, religion, race, class

____ Blamed you for “causing” the abuse

____ Ridiculed/made bad remarks about your gender

____ Criticized or threatened to hurt your family or friends

____ Kept you away from family and friends even those at church

____ Abused animals

____ Tried to keep you from doing something you wanted to do

____ Got angry if you paid too much attention to someone or something else (children, friends, school, etc.)

____ Withheld approval, appreciation or affection

____ Threatened to have you deported

____ Humiliated you

____ Became angry if meal or housework was not done to their liking

____ Made contradictory demands / changed the rules

____ Did not include you in important decisions

____ Lied about your immigration status

____ Did not allow you to sleep, harassed you or threatened to tell others about things you have done in the past

____ Took away keys, money or credit cards

____ Threatened to leave or told you to leave

____ Checked up on you (listened to your phone calls, looked at phone bills, checked the mileage on the car, etc.)

____ Degraded you, made you feel insignificant, powerless and/or worthless

____ Threatened to commit suicide

____ Interfered with you going to work or school or church (provoked a fight in the morning, harassed you at work, etc.)

____ Minimized or denied being abusive

____ Embarrassed or humiliated you in front of other people

____ Abused your children

____ Broke dates and canceled plans without reason

____ Used drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior

____ Used phrases like “I’ll show you who is boss”, “I’ll put you in line”

____ Used a loud or intimidating tone of voice

____ Criticized your body, weight, clothes or other aspects of your appearance

Financial Abuse

____ Made all the decisions about money or your job

____ Took care of all financial matters without your input

____ Criticized the way or amount of money you spent

____ Did not allow you to send money to your family or placed you on a budget that was unrealistic

____ Denied you access to bank accounts and credit cards

____ Refused to put your name on joint assets

____ Controlled your paycheck

____ Refused you access to money

____ Refused to let you work

____ Forced you to sign papers in a language you did not understand

____ Refused to get a job

____ Refused to let you learn English as a second language

____ Refused to pay bills

____ Caused you to lose your job

Sexual Abuse

____ Pressured you to have sex

____ Pressured you to perform sexual acts that made you uncomfortable or hurt you

____ Directed physical injury toward sexual areas of your body

____ Put you at risk for unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections

____ Withheld sex or affection

____ Used sexual terms as insults

____ Told anti-woman jokes or demeaned women verbally

____ Accused you of having sex with others

____ Forced you to have sex with others

____ Threatened to disclose your relationship when you did not want it known

____ Forced you to view pornography/Is a user of pornography

____ Pressured you to dress a certain way

____ Disregarded your sexual needs and feelings about sex

____ accused you of being gay if you refused sex

____ Spread rumors about your sexual behaviors

____ Made you or refused to let you use birth control

____ Made unwanted public sexual advances

____ Made remarks about your sexual abilities

____ Sexually assaulted or raped you

Using Children

____ Made you feel guilty about your children

____ Used children to relay negative messages

____ Used children to report on your activities

____ Used visitation to harass you

____ Threatened to take custody of your children

____ Threatened to kidnap your children

Physical Abuse

____ Slapped you

____ Pushed, grabbed or shoved you

____ Kicked you

____ Choked you

____ Pinched you

____ Pulled your hair

____ Burned you

____ Bit you

____ Tied you up

____ Forced you to share needles with others

____ Threatened you with a gun or a knife

____ Used a knife, gun or other weapons

____ Prevented you from leaving an area / physically restrained you

____ Made you lie about bruises, cuts, etc

____ Threw objects

____ Destroyed property, possessions or important documents

____ Drove recklessly to frighten you

____ Disregarded your needs when you were ill, injured or pregnant

____ Abused you while you were pregnant

____ Forced you to carry out or abort a pregnancy

Spiritual Abuse

____ Has hidden your Bible

____ Has prohibited, threatened, intimidated you from attending church or church functions

____Has prohibited you from joining Bible studies or attending retreats/conferences

____ Has attempted to make you “feel” remorseful or bad about attending church (that they are not “enough” for you).

____Isolates you or will not leave you alone to fellowship with others

____ Has prevented you from attending church or functions at church

____ Misinterprets/Twists Scripture for his/her manipulation